Häufig gestellte Fragen. Haben Sie eine Frage für uns Ihre Antwort könnte in unseren FAQs gefunden werden. Was ist alles über Wir re alle über die Hilfe Forex Trader helfen sich selbst Wir haben die School of Pipsology eine globale Gemeinschaft von Forex Trader auf unseren Foren handliche Forex-Tools wie Der Wirtschaftskalender und unsere forexpedia und schließlich Handel Blogs, die ständig aktualisiert werden mit Marktanalyse All das kostenlos Ich kann ein Blog auf The Blogs Abschnitt ist nicht offen für Änderungen durch die Öffentlichkeit Wir haben unsere eigene Team von Kickass Schriftsteller gewidmet Aktualisierung Der Blogs-Abschnitt Wenn ein Spot eröffnet wird, werden wir Sie auf jeden Fall informieren, dass Sie nie wissen, Huck kann eines Tages den Mann ihrer Träume finden und sich entscheiden, sich darauf zu konzentrieren oder vielleicht muss Robopip wieder auf den Planeten zurückkehren Bieten Sie in anderen Sprachen an Nope Nein Nein Noch nicht, aber wir arbeiten derzeit an der Übersetzung der Schule der Pipsologie in weiteren Sprachen, einschließlich Spanisch, Portugiesisch und vielleicht Chinesisch Mehrere Sprachen zu folgen, s O keine Notwendigkeit zu kümmern Andere Bereiche werden in Kürze übersetzt werden, dass dies viel Zeit und Arbeit dauert, also bitte geduldig und bleiben Sie dran. Bieten Sie mobile E-Mail-Updates für neue Blog-Posts an Keine direkten mobilen Updates dh Textnachrichten, aber Sie Kann immer über Twitter, RSS-Feeds und E-Mail-Abonnements abonnieren Es ist einfach, für die Benachrichtigungen einzurichten, um auf Ihr Handy geschoben zu werden Ich möchte Forex lernen Wenn Sie eifrig beginnen, über Forex Trading zu lernen, empfehlen wir Ihnen, Ihren Weg zu machen Über die Schule der Pipsologie unser eigener Führer für den Unterricht Anfänger, wie man den Devisenmarkt tauschen Wir starten Sie in der Vorschule lehren Sie die Grundlagen von Forex, und von dort aus lernen Sie komplexere Themen bis hin zur Graduierung Dies ist Alle Selbst-Studie, getan an Ihrem eigenen Kompliment das Lernen an der School of Pipsology, bieten wir auch regelmäßig aktualisierte Blogs ein Community-Forum, wo Sie Fragen und Antworten mit anderen registrierten Mitgliedern, unsere Forex austauschen können Pedia of forex Begriffe und Definitionen, und mehrere Werkzeuge wie Taschenrechner und ein Kalender Wie registriere ich mich mit was bekomme ich mich abmelden und das s es was bekommst du bekommst die ganze Awesomeness des Teams und der Community Es s total kostenlos und Es gibt nichts zu kaufen, aber Tonnen zu gewinnen. Schule der Pipsologie Fragen. Wo kann ich die PDF bekommen Es gibt eine Für die aktuelle und super awesome Version der School of Pipsology haben wir nur eine Online-Präsenz und nichts in druckfähigem oder elektronischem Format Bevor du anfängst, eine für dich selbst zu schaffen oder sogar für den Verteiler, darum, warum wir entmutigen, dass die Schule der Pipsologie etwas ist, was wir wirklich hart gearbeitet haben Unzählige Stunden der Forschung und des Schreibens wurden ausgegeben, um das alles zusammen zu kommen und der beste Weg für Sie Jungs zu unterstützen ist es, auf unsere Website zu gehen und lesen Sie es von dort Nach allem ist es kostenlos. Still wollen sie PDFs Vielleicht möchten Sie sich unsere aktuellen PDFs online zu sehen Haben Sie eine druckbare Version der Schule Nein We wan T, um die Erde zu retten Gehen Sie grün yo Ich habe gehört, Sie haben ein PDF zum Verkauf Ist das wahr Ich kann nicht finden, wo es zu kaufen Es pflegte, um wahr zu sein Wir don t bieten die PDF zum Verkauf mehr, und wir haben es nicht mehr verkauft Zwei Jahre jetzt Aber Sie können immer besuchen Sie die Online-Version der Schule Es ist KOSTENLOS Kann ich eine Kopie der Schule der Pipsologie PDF Nope Sorry, Sie können t Wir don t haben eine Was passiert mit den Quizzes in der Schule gefunden werden Sie holten sie zurück Definitiv haben wir sie entfernt, als wir die Schule im Jahr 2010 aufgerüstet haben. Weil sich der Inhalt geändert hat, änderten sich auch die Quizfragen. Wir haben auch daran gearbeitet, die Fragen zu aktualisieren, um alle neuen Inhalte zu reflektieren und sicherzustellen, dass wir alles an Ort und Stelle haben Ist die Schule nicht erinnern meine Fortschritte Uh oh, das klingt wie ein Browser Cookie Problem Die Erinnerung der neuen Schule ist nicht tatsächlich an Ihr Benutzerkonto gebunden, sondern an Ihren Computer, oder genauer gesagt, Ihre Web-Browser Sie müssen Cookies aktiviert haben Für diese Funktion zu Ihrem Browser kann Löschen von Cookies, wenn sie geschlossen sind, als Sicherheitsvorkehrung Bitte bestätigen Sie, dass Cookies aktiviert sind und dass sie nicht gelöscht werden, wenn der Browser geschlossen ist. Wenn Sicherheit ein Anliegen ist und Sie Cookies löschen möchten, bietet jeder Browser eine Möglichkeit, bestimmte Cookies zu speichern Während loszuwerden, den Rest Die Prozedur, dies zu tun ist Browser-spezifisch, aber eine schnelle Internet-Suche sollte Sie fixiert Wenn das doesn t Arbeit holler an uns über Ich habe gerade die Schule der Pipsologie jetzt was Sie vielleicht mit dem beginnen möchten Cowabunga System Es wurde von unserem eigenen Pip Surfer als Beispiel für das Erstellen eines eigenen Systems entwickelt, das er sogar einen wöchentlichen Blog für ihn gewidmet hat. Der Blog ist seit einiger Zeit verfügbar, aber wenn aus irgendeinem sehr seltsamen Grund, du Port t Hörte es noch, vielleicht möchte die FAQ lesen, werfen Sie einen Blick auf unsere Foren, die auch das Cowabunga System seit 2007 abgedeckt hat. Wir hoffen, dass dies hilft bei der Formulierung Ihres ganz eigenen Systems Viel Glück. Kontaktbezogene Fragen. Warum Kann t ac ac Cess Lass uns dich feststellen, dann werden wir dich brauchen, um uns weitere Details zu geben, was du erlebst, wie Fehlermeldungen, die du erhalten hast, deine IP-Adresse, was du gemacht hast, bevor du nicht auf eine bestimmte Seite zugreifen könntest Diese Informationen können wir Ihnen helfen, besser und schneller Senden Sie sie an Warum kann ich ich mein Konto aktivieren Versuchen Sie, auf den Bestätigungslink zu klicken, den wir Ihnen geschickt haben, nachdem Sie sich angemeldet haben. Überprüfen Sie Ihren Spam-Ordner, falls es dort ging Wenn das nicht funktioniert, Sie Kann immer nach einem anderen Verifizierungs-Link fragen und wir schicken Ihnen einen ASAP Was ist falsch mit meinem Benutzernamen Warum kann ich diesen Benutzernamen verwenden Nichts ist falsch mit deinem Benutzernamen, jemand schlägt dich einfach hinein Lass es an etwas anderes denken Wenn du kannst? Ich denke an irgendetwas, vielleicht kannst du mit uns auf Twitter reden und wir können mit einem verrückten Namen für dich kommen Kann ich meinen Benutzernamen ändern Aber natürlich schreibe einfach eine Nachricht per mit deinem bevorzugten Benutzernamen und wir machen es für dich Um uns mit Ihrer registrierten E-Mail-Adresse zu mailen Hough Wie kann ich mein Passwort ändern oder zurücksetzen Um Ihr Passwort zu ändern, melden Sie sich einfach an und gehen Sie zu Ihrem User Control Panel, um Ihr Passwort oder Ihren Benutzernamen zurückzusetzen. Klicken Sie einfach auf diesen Link und wir werden ihn an Ihre registrierte E-Mail Adresse senden Eine Frage in deinen Foren Hier sind die einfachen Peasy-Schritte, um eine Frage auf dem Forum zu veröffentlichen. Log in deinem Account. Head auf das Forum. Wählen Sie ein Sub-Forum, wo Sie Ihre Frage wie Newbie Island. If fragen ein Neue Frage, klicken Sie auf die Schaltfläche POST NEW THREAD unterhalb der Ankündigung Abschnitt Geben Sie Ihren Titel und Ihre Frage ein, und klicken Sie dann auf die Schaltfläche SUBMIT NEW THREAD. Wenn Sie auf einen vorhandenen Thread antworten, finden Sie den Thread, auf den Sie antworten möchten oder daran teilnehmen möchten. Innerhalb des Threads klicken Sie auf die REPLY-Taste auf der rechten unteren Seite des ersten Beitrags Sie können auch die QUICK REPLY Abschnitt unterhalb der letzten Post gefunden, um schnell fügen Sie Ihre Kommentare ohne die erweiterten Posting-Einstellungen. Wie sehen Sie die ältesten Post zuerst in t Er forums Mit Magie Gehen Sie einfach diese Schritte. Klicken Sie auf die Registerkarte Foren, wenn nicht bereits dort. Klicken Sie auf UserCP am Anfang der Seite Forum UserCP Chat Room Was ist neu. Wählen Sie allgemeine Einstellungen. Move down in den Thread Display Mode Abschnitt, und wählen Sie Linear Älteste zuerst aus der Dropdown-Liste. Klicken Sie auf Änderungen speichern am unteren Rand der Seite. Voila Sie können jetzt genießen Sie Ihre Forum-Threads mit dem ältesten Beitrag auf top. Why ist meine E-Mail-IP-Adresse verboten Es ist sehr möglich, dass Ihre E-Mail-IP Adresse wird von uns für Spam-Zwecke blockiert oder für übermäßiges Kopieren Herunterladen unserer Inhalte Übermäßiges Herunterladen führt zu Performance-Problemen für die gesamte Community und wir bitten, dass Sie dies beenden, klingt wie Ihr Problem, senden Sie uns bitte eine E-Mail über Kann ich abbrechen Mein Konto löschen Wie mache ich es Sie verlassen uns aber warum Wenn Sie uns eine E-Mail schicken können, um Ihre registrierte E-Mail-Adresse zu beantragen, die um Ihr Konto gebeten wird, um storniert zu werden und warum, wir werden Ihnen widerwillig eine Bestätigungs-E-Mail senden Denken Sie daran, aber wir werden immer hier für Sie sein, warten Sie erneut, wenn die richtige Zeit kommt Warum kann ich Post-View-Dateien in den Foren Ein Grund, dass Sie nicht in der Lage, Post oder View-Dateien ist, weil Sie nicht angemeldet sind Sie stellen sicher, dass Sie sind Was Sie don t haben ein Konto Nun, dann ist es Zeit zu registrieren. Business Opportunities. Can ich werben mit Ihnen Ja können Sie IF Sie re ein direkter Makler, Banner-nur Werbung irgendwie Kerl Aber wir freuen uns auf Andere Vermittlerverhältnisse und Angebote auch Kann ich auf Ihre Website verknüpfen Du kannst definitiv auf unsere Website verknüpfen Wir werden geehrt Kann ich die Schule der Pipsologie für dich übersetzen Wir verstehen, dass Englisch nicht die Grundsprache der meisten der Welt ist und das Eine Übersetzung unserer Inhalte in eine neue Sprache würde die Erziehung für mehr Menschen eröffnen. Aber wir erlauben nicht das Kopieren und / oder Neuverteilung unserer Inhalte. Das wäre ähnlich wie die Lizenzierung unserer Inhalte, die wir nicht zu unserem Inhalt haben, ist aber definitiv Erlaubt Wir hoffen Um neue Sprachen der Schule der Pipsologie im kommenden Jahr herauszuholen Kann ich mein Nicht-Forex-Produkt mit Ihnen werben Anzeigen sind nur offen für Forex-Broker im Moment Kann ich Ihr Zeug kopieren Leider erlauben wir nicht das Kopieren und / oder Neuverteilung Von unseren Inhalten Dies wäre ähnlich wie die Lizenzierung unserer Inhalte, die wir nicht anbieten können Sie können immer Link aber Kann ich hinzugefügt werden, um Ihre Broker-Liste Senden Sie uns eine E-Mail in Bezug auf diese und wir werden zurück zu Ihnen Können Sie meinen Produkt-Service zu überprüfen On Wir don t schreiben Produkt Service Bewertungen aus einer Promotion-Perspektive auf unsere Sie vielleicht in unserer Schwester-Website interessiert sein könnte, können Sie Ihre Firma und Produkt-Info für die Überprüfung durch unsere Gemeinschaft von Forex-Händler, die natürlich würde jemand zu haben Tatsächlich benutzt deine Software, also ist es nicht eine komplette Lösung Aber es ist eine Allee, um deinen Produktnamen da draußen zu bekommen Und es ist völlig frei Möchtest du Links austauschen Wir müssen respektvoll sagen, nein danke Wir don t Teilnahme an Link-Börsen Sie vertreten einen Broker Nein, wir sind nicht Wir sind rein ein Online-Bildungs-Resourcemon Forex Trading Fragen. Kann ich vertraue den Unternehmen, die Sie auf Ihrer Website werben Das ist eine sehr wichtige Frage, die wir nicht mit einem einfachen Ja beantworten können Oder nein Wir haben viele Werbetreibende Unternehmen, mit denen wir seit mehreren Jahren gearbeitet haben Diese Werbetreibenden werden auf unserer Website mit Anzeigen und Firmenlogos angezeigt, wie Sie in den Sponsorabschnitten unserer Schul - und Blog-Sponsoren sehen werden, die Sie auf unserer Website sehen Arbeitete mit uns fast seit Anfang Anfang 2006 Diese Sponsoren haben Ehrlichkeit und Integrität in der Geschäftstätigkeit mit unserem Unternehmen ausgestellt. Da gesagt wird, um so unparteiisch wie möglich zu unserer Gemeinschaft von Mitgliedern und Gästen zu sein, unterstützen wir uns nicht jedes Broker Oder Werbetreibenden, noch ihre Produkte oder Dienstleistungen. Das ist, wo die Macht der Gemeinschaft, und speziell unsere Broker Guide und Foren, kommen in das Bild The For Ums wird Ihnen aus erster Hand Wissen von Händlern, die direkte Erfahrung mit den verschiedenen Werbetreibenden und ihre Produkte oder Dienstleistungen haben. Der Broker Guide bietet Ihnen Informationen, die uns direkt von den Maklern über ihre Angebote eingereicht werden Kombinieren Sie diese beiden Bereiche des Wissens und wir werden sicher, dass Sie sein werden In der Lage, die beste Entscheidung für Sie zu machen Wenn Sie mehr brauchen als nur jemand anderes Wort, um sich sicher zu fühlen, machen Sie Ihren Weg über die US Commodity Futures Trading Commission Website oder die National Futures Association Website Sie sind die Regulierungsstellen der Forex und Futures Industrien in den USA Sie können weitere Licht auf einige der Makler, die Sie interessieren verschütten. But müssen Sie auch ein genaues Auge auf die Anzeigen, die Sie suchen Wir arbeiten mit Google Werbung, um Anzeigen, die sie zufällig in bestimmten Bereichen platzieren Unsere Website Durch die Gestaltung ihres Systems, beziehen sich die Anzeigen auf Forex, aber wir haben nicht die volle Kontrolle über welche Anzeigen Googl E Orte auf unserer Website Wie lange dauert es, um ein erfolgreicher Trader zu werden Trading ist eine Performance-Fähigkeit wie Sport, Kunst, Medizin, etc. Die Ausbildung und Wissen ist da draußen, aber haben Sie die Disziplin zu lernen und entwickeln eine Methode, die Arbeitet für dich Haben Sie, was es braucht, um auf den Teller zu treten, Risiken einzugehen und die Arbeit notwendig zu machen, um Ihren Handel zu überprüfen und zu verbessern. Auch können Sie Ihre Emotionen kontrollieren, wenn nicht, wenn Sie Geld verlieren, wenn Sie ein Spiel haben Plan, der für Sie arbeitet, werden Sie immer noch in der Lage sein, an Tag und Tag zu bleiben Es gibt keine Antwort auf Ihre Frage, die eine allgemeine Anwendung hat Die Zeit, die es braucht, ist wirklich bis zu der Zeit und Mühe, die Sie in das Lernen und Praxis und Ihre Situation im Leben. Aber wenn Sie noch auf der Suche nach einer definitiveren Antwort sind, hier sind ein paar Zitate, um Ihnen eine bessere Idee über die Zeit, die es braucht, um ein erfolgreicher Trader Mike Bellafiore Mitbegründer der Prop Trading zu sein Firma SMB Capital sagt, es ist üblich für erfahrene Händler S zu erkennen, dass sie nicht wussten, was sie taten, bis nach drei bis fünf Jahren. Und aus seinem Buch Enhancing Trader Performance, Brett Steenbarger erkennt, dass es etwa 10 Jahre bewusste Praxis, um die Kunst des Handels, sowie alle zu beherrschen Andere Fähigkeiten Wie kann ich Pivot-Punkte berechnen Sie können Pivot-Punkte mit jedem Zeitrahmen berechnen Alles was Sie brauchen ist der Eröffnungskurs, enge Preis, hoher Preis und niedrige Instanz, während der Zeit, die Sie gerade sehen, ob es 1 Tag, 1 Woche ist , Oder 1 Monat, nehmen Sie einfach den Eröffnungskurs, den hohen Preis der niedrigen und den Schlusskurs, und stecken Sie diese Zahlen in unsere handy-dandy Pivot Punkt Rechner hier gefunden Es wird die Pivotpunkte für die nächsten 12 Stunden, die Sie sind berechnen Okay, wenn du mehr über Pivot-Punkte erfahren willst und wie du sie berechnen kannst, besuch bitte unsere Pivot-Point-Lektion, die hier gefunden wird. Wie viel sollte ich pro Handel riskieren Wenn du ein Anfänger bist, sollte dein Konto-Risiko so klein wie möglich sein S Ay das ist, weil Sie nicht genug Statistiken über Ihr System oder Trading-Methode, um Ihr Konto Risiko pro Handel zu optimieren Sie don t wissen, wie oft Sie verlieren, wie groß Ihre Drawdowns sind, Ihre längsten verlieren Streifen, haben Sie genug Informationen über Ihre gesammelt Handel schlagen wir ein Jahr im Wert des Handels, dann können Sie beginnen, Ihr Konto Risiko pro Handel auf Ihr Risiko Komfort Ebene anpassen. Im Allgemeinen schlagen wir nicht vor, dass jemand riskiert, mehr als 1 von Ihrem Konto pro Handel zu verlieren Wieder ist dies alles Basierend auf Ihrem Risiko-Komfort-Niveau Lesen Sie auf unserem Risikomanagement Schulunterricht für weitere Informationen Wie lange sollten Sie für den Handel pro Tag ausgeben Wir sind nicht sicher, wie andere Händler handeln, so können wir t sprechen im Allgemeinen Für unseren Stil, diskretionäre Handel, Wir in der Regel in eine Stunde oder zwei der Forschung und Planung, bevor wir mit dem Handel für den Tag beginnen Nachdem wir für den Tag getan haben, werden wir noch eine Stunde oder zwei Aufzeichnung der Tage Ereignisse und Preis-Aktion, dann überprüfen und herausfinden, wie t O verbessern unsere entscheidungsprozesse und kurs natürlich, wenn man den längeren zeitrahmen tauscht, ist dieser prozess so zeitintensiv geworden. So ist es so, wie wir es machen und wir schlagen immer vor, eigene Methoden und Wege zum handeln zu finden Konten Wir sind keine Broker und bieten keine Art von Brokerage oder Demo-Trading-Konten Wenn Sie daran interessiert sind, ein Demo-Konto zu eröffnen, machen Sie Ihren Weg zu unserem Broker Guide für weitere Informationen Wir helfen Ihnen, den Makler zu wählen, der für Sie richtig ist Abgesehen davon, die Foren hat auch eine Forex Broker-Bereich, der für Sie interessant sein kann Neue und erfahrene Händler diskutieren alles und alles, Gebühren, Bewertungen, Empfehlungen, Boni im Zusammenhang mit Forex Brokers bieten Ihnen Live, face-to-face Training Klassen Ist nur eine Online-pädagogische Ressource Wir bieten keine persönliche Klassen oder Seminare an Wir denken, dass unsere Schönheit ein Problem sein könnte. Nehmen Sie unser Wort dafür Es ist schwer zu konzentrieren, wenn Sie in unsere Gesichter steigen Wie viel Geld benötigt wird t O offen ein Trading-Konto Da Sie diese Frage gefragt, Kopf auf über die School of Pipsology Wir denken, Sie sind ein perfekter Kandidat Es ist völlig kostenlos, es ist Web-basierte, und eine Menge Spaß Plus Sie re verpflichtet, eine Sache zu lernen Oder zwei Wie für Ihre Frage, wenn Sie wieder brandneu zu forex, würden wir vorschlagen, mit null, dass s richtig, nichts Sie müssen zumindest lernen, die Grundlagen, bevor Sie sogar darüber nachdenken Geld auf ein Trading-Konto Aber Mini-Konten können Für so wenig wie 500 eingerichtet werden, Kopf über die Schule der Pipsologie Sie gewann t bereuen es Welche Makler empfehlen Sie Wir versuchen, so unvoreingenommen wie möglich zu bleiben, indem wir nicht empfehlen, bestimmte Broker Dies ist am besten für jeden Händler ist anders in Ihre Ansatz und Trading Styles, so ein Broker könnte für einen arbeiten, aber nicht ein anderer Kopf auf über zu unserem Broker Guide und unsere Broker Überprüfung Abschnitt für mehr Info Werden Sie handeln mein Geld für mich Gibt es Unternehmen, die für mich handeln wird Ja, gibt es Viele Unternehmen zur Verfügung, die w Krank handeln Sie Ihr Geld für auf der anderen Seite, nehmen Sie die Position des Versuchs, Händler zu erziehen, damit sie den Handel selbst tun können Mit dieser Tatsache, empfehlen wir keine spezifische Firma Sie können immer eine Vor-Ort-Suche mit dem Suchfeld An der Spitze unserer Web-Seite für verwaltetes Konto, um Ihnen herauszufinden, in möglicherweise finden Sie Bewertungen über solche Dienste Was ist der beste Weg, um zu verfolgen meine Trading-Geschichte Machen Sie Ihren Weg zu den Foren Fachzeitschriften Sub-Forum Nehmen Sie den ersten Schritt zum Aufbau Ihrer Disziplin Rekord und teilen Sie Ihre Fortschritte Handel Ideen, Handelsergebnisse, Psychologie Staat vor und nach und mehr Lesen Sie mehr darüber, warum Sie brauchen eine Fachzeitschrift in unserer Schule der Pipsologie hier. Wie das Gesetz der Vital wenigt Hilft Forex Traders. How das Gesetz von Die Vital wenigt Hilft Forex Traders. Submit von adil am Mo, 11 18 2013 - 09 40.Tagged als Forex Trading Forex Trading. Some Werke der Forschung sind so brillant, dass sie verlassen werden einige von uns Kreuz überragt durch über Denken Die 80 20 Regel auch Bekannt als das Gesetz der vitalen wenigen, ist eine solche Forschung Ich habe eine Intrige zu sehen, diese Arbeit der Philosophie gehören, obwohl ihre Wurzeln liegen in Mathematik und Wissenschaft Vilfredo Pareto fand dieses Gesetz in der Natur zu existieren auch er fand heraus, dass 80 von Die Erbsen kamen aus 20 Erbsenhülsen seines Gartens. Einfach gesagt, das Gesetz besagt, dass die meisten Ergebnisse auf eine Handvoll Ursachen für jedes gegebene Ereignis zurückzuführen sind. Von der Wirtschaft, Software-Technik bis zur Medizin hat diese Regel in jedem Fall eine immense Wirksamkeit gefunden Zum Beispiel in der Wirtschaft 80 eines Unternehmens s Verkauf von 20 seiner Produkte, in der Software-Engineering Fixierung von 20 von Bugs von einem OS, um 80 von Abstürzen und Fehler oder im Gesundheitswesen 80 von Verletzungen aus 20 von Schwachstellen Vilfredo Pareto bereits beobachtet Das Phänomen biologisch in seinem Erbsen pods. Largely, das Gesetz der vitalen wenigen ist auch im Devisenhandel anwendbar Umfragen und Statistiken, die von führenden Brokern und Erfahrungen von führenden Händlern komponiert werden, zeigen Existenz einer Art Von 80 20 Regel in Forex Diese Umfragen, Statistiken und Erfahrungen beobachten, dass die meisten Gewinne aus der geringsten Anzahl von Trades stammen, mit Ausnahme einer kleinen Zeitspanne die meiste Zeit der Markt ist nicht wert Handel oder dass eine große Anzahl von erfolgreichen Trades Sind einfacher, während ein paar schwierig auszuführen sind. Diese Ergebnisse zeigen, dass die meisten der Forex-Ergebnisse, ob positiv oder negativ, sind ein Ergebnis von ein paar Ursachen Dies ist wichtige Informationen für alle Händler da draußen Wenn Sie selbst Ihren eigenen Handel zu beobachten Ergebnisse, werden Sie sehen, dass die meisten Ihrer Gewinne kommen aus ein paar erfolgreiche Trades Die Lektion, die Sie aus dieser Information, mit freundlicher Genehmigung von Vilfredo Pareto ableiten können, ist, dass Sie sich auf eine kleine Minderheit von Trades konzentrieren Die meisten der Händler, auch ich sind Zu eifrig, um eine Reihe von Trades, um mehr Gewinne zu machen Stattdessen führt diese Haltung zu Verlusten die meisten der Zeit. Das sagte, wenn Sie genug Forex Trading Reife geschlagen haben, werden Sie zustimmen, dass der Markt nicht immer ist Bereitstellung der passenden Setups die meiste Zeit Wir müssen warten und fischen diese Momente aus Also, nur eine Handvoll von Zeiten der Markt bietet Ihnen mit handelbaren Möglichkeiten Während Forex Trading, viele Male, nichts zu tun ist das Beste, was zu tun ist Als Trader, Vor allem als Day-Trader, sollten Sie auch erkennen, dass einfachste Trading-Strategien, Techniken und Bemühungen erhalten Sie belohnt die meisten kostengünstig. Die Crux dieser Diskussion über Forex Trading kann nicht viel einfacher, müssen Sie auf kleine Anzahl von Trades konzentrieren, seien Sie geduldig für Der Markt, um die Chancen zu demonstrieren, die für Sie am günstigsten sind und einfachere Werkzeuge für die Handelsanalyse und - ausführung verwenden. Je weniger und einfachere Trades, desto besser sind die Belohnungen, daher das Gesetz von lebenswichtigen wenigen. Top Trading Brokers. Terms Bedingungen Privacy Policy. IntelliTraders tut Keine Haftung für Verluste oder Schäden infolge der Vertrauenswürdigkeit der in dieser Website enthaltenen Informationen übernehmen, einschließlich Bildungsmaterial, Preisangaben und Charts und a Nalyse Bitte beachten Sie die Risiken im Zusammenhang mit dem Handel der Finanzmärkte nie investieren mehr Geld, als Sie riskieren können zu verlieren Die Risiken im Handel mit binären Optionen sind hoch und möglicherweise nicht für alle Investoren geeignet IntelliTraders übernimmt keine Verantwortung für alle Handelsverluste, die Sie könnten Gesicht als Ergebnis der Verwendung der Daten auf dieser Website gehostet Einige Binäre Optionen Unternehmen sind nicht in den Vereinigten Staaten mit Regulierungsbehörden geregelt Das IntelliTraders Network ist pädagogisches Material und nicht Trading-Beratung Handel auf eigene Gefahr. Sign In mit Facebook. Register For. Free Trade Alerts Ausbildung 1-on-1 Support eToro Copytrader Tipps. New User Bitte registrieren Haben Sie ein Konto Login. Eine schöne Frau betrat eine Bar und setzte sich neben einem Anwalt Hören Sie Honig, sagte sie, Für 50, werde ich absolut alles, was Sie Wollen. Der Anwalt zog fünfzig Dollar aus seiner Brieftasche und sagte: Malen Sie mein Haus. Nach Jahren des Scrimping und Sparen, sagte ein Mann seiner Frau die gute Nachricht Honey, wir gehen endlich T genug Geld zu kaufen, was wir begannen zu retten im Jahr 1979 Sie bedeuten eine brandneue Cadillac sie bat eifrig Nein, sagte der Mann, ein 1979 Cadillac. Ein Geschäftsmann rief und hatte eine Frage über die Dokumente, die er brauchte, um zu fliegen China Nach einer langwierigen Diskussion über Pässe erinnerte ich ihn, er brauchte ein Visum Oh nein ich nicht, ich war schon oft in China und musste nie einen von denen, die ich doppelt überprüft habe, und sicher genug, sein Aufenthalt brauchte ein Visum Wenn ich sagte Er das sagte er, Schau, ich bin viermal in China und jedes Mal, wenn sie meinen amerikanischen Express akzeptiert haben. Hallo, Freundliches Internet Kann ich dir helfen. KUNDEN Oh, hallo junger Mann Ich frage mich, ob du Online-Banking anbiest Re ein Internet-Service-Provider, können Sie sicherlich unseren Service nutzen, um eine Verbindung zu Online-Banking. CUSTOMER Was muss ich tun, um zu tun. TECH Sie brauchen nur das Modem in Ihrem Computer Das Stecker in eine Telefonbuchung Melden Sie sich für ein Konto, Und melden Sie sich für Online-Banking mit Ihrem bank. CUSTOMER Aber wo d Os das geld kommen heraus. TECH Ich bin mir nicht sicher, dass ich verstehe. CUSTOMER Sie wissen, dass das Geld aus diesem Schlitz auf dem Computer herauskommt. Ein Mann geht in eine New York City Bank und sagt, dass er 2.000 für drei Wochen ausleihen möchte Darlehen Offizier fragt ihn, welche Art von Sicherheiten er hat. Der Mann sagt, ich habe einen Rolls Royce - halten Sie es, bis das Darlehen ausgezahlt wird - hier sind die Schlüssel. Der Kredit-Offizier hat sofort das Auto in die U-Bahn der Bank getrieben Parkplatz für die sichere Aufbewahrung, und gibt dem Mann 2.000.Three Wochen später kommt der Mann in die Bank, zahlt zurück die 2.000 Darlehen, plus 10 Zinsen, und gewinnt Besitz der Rolls Royce. Der Kredit-Offizier fragt ihn, Herr, wenn ich darf Fragen Sie, warum sollte ein Mann, der einen Rolls Royce fährt, zwei tausend Dollar leihen müssen. Der Mann antwortet, ich musste für drei Wochen nach Europa gehen und wo sonst könnte ich einen Rolls Royce für diese lange für zehn Dollar speichern. Ein Mann Kommentierte zu seinem Mittagessen Begleiter Meine Frau hatte einen lustigen Traum letzte Nacht Sie träumte, dass sie einen Millionär verheiratet hat Sie re lu Cky, seufzte der Begleiter Meine Frau träumt, dass in der daytime. Washington, DCA Reiseleiter zeigte einen Touristen um Washington, DC Der Führer wies auf den Ort, wo George Washington angeblich warf einen Dollar über den Potomac River Das ist unmöglich, sagte der Tourist Niemand konnte eine Münze werfen, die du musst dich erinnern, antwortete der Führer Ein Dollar ging viel weiter in jenen Tagen. Drei Jungs gingen am Strand entlang eines Tages, wenn sie eine Höhle sehen Der erste Junge geht hinein und schaut auf einen Banknote auf einem großen Felsen, wenn eine gespenstische Stimme ruft Ich bin der Geist von Tante Abel und diese fünf Dollar bleibt auf dem Tisch Der zweite Junge geht hinein und erreicht das Geld, wenn das Gleiche wieder passiert Der dritte Junge geht hinein, sieht Die fünf Dollar und schreit aus, ich bin der Gespenst von David Crockett und diese fünf Dollar geht in meine Tasche. Wenn du die Bank 100 schuldest, ist das dein Problem Wenn du die Bank 100 Millionen schuldest, das ist das Problem der Bank Sind zwei Arten von Ökonomen - die w Ho kann die Zinsen nicht prognostizieren, und - diejenigen, die nicht wissen, dass sie keine Zinssätze prognostizieren können. Ein eher sparsamer Mann fragte die Bank für ein Darlehen von einem Dollar und wurde gesagt, dass er neun Prozent Zinsen am Ende des Jahres zahlen müsste Für die Sicherheit bot er 60.000 in US-Anleihen an Der Bankier, der einen potenziellen Einleger voraussah, nahm die Anleihen an und gab dem Mann einen Dollar. Am Ende des Jahres war er wieder mit einem Dollar und neun Cent, um seine Schulden zu klären und bat um die Rückkehr seiner Anleihen Bei der Rückgabe der Anleihen, die der Bankier gefragt hat, will ich nicht neugierig sein, aber da hast du all diese Anleihen, warum musstest du einen Dollar ausleihen. Nun, sagte der engagierte alte Gent, das musste ich wirklich nicht Aber weißt du auf irgendeine andere Art und Weise, wie ich die Verwendung eines Safe-Box für neun Cent pro Jahr bekommen könnte. Hast du von dem Irishman gehört, der sich in einen Auto-Boot-Verkauf umgekehrt hat und den Motor verkauft hat. Lottery Ein Makler namens Jean Paul , Zog nach Texas und kaufte einen Esel von einem alten Bauern namens Ben für 10 0 Der Bauer stimmte zu, den Esel am nächsten Tag zu liefern Am nächsten Tag fuhr Ben auf und sagte: Ben Tut mir leid, aber ich habe eine schlechte Nachricht Der Esel starb Jean Paul Nun, dann gib mir einfach das Geld zurück, Ben Can t do Dass ich ging und verbrachte es schon Jean Paul OK, dann einfach entladen Sie den Esel, Ben Was ya gehen mit ihm zu tun Jean Paul Ich werde ihn verlosen, Ben Sie können T los von einem toten Esel Jean Paul Sure kann mich beobachten Ich habe gerade gewonnen, dass er tot ist. Ein Monat später traf Ben mit dem Cajun und fragte, Ben, was mit dem toten Esel Jean Paul passiert ist, habe ich ihn verraten, ich habe mir 500-hunderte Karten an zwei Dollar verkauft und gemacht Ein Gewinn von 898, Ben Didn t jemand beschweren Jean Paul Nur der Kerl, der gewann So gab ich ihm seine zwei Dollar zurück. Als George herausfand, dass er ein Vermögen erben würde, als sein kranker Vater starb, entschied er, dass er eine Frau brauchte Genießen Sie es mit Einem Abend ging er in einen Einzelclub, wo er die schönste Frau aussah, die er je gesehen hatte Ich war erstaunlich, dass es seinen Atem wegnahm, ich kann nur wie ein gewöhnlicher Mann aussehen, sagte er, als er zu ihr hinaufging, aber in nur ein oder zwei Wochen wird mein Vater sterben, und ich werde 15 Millionen Dollar erben. Ich bin die Frau Ging mit ihm an diesem Abend nach Hause. Wenige Tage später wurde sie seine Stiefmutter. Late eine Nacht ein mugger trägt eine Skimaske sprang in einen Pfad eines gut gekleideten Mannes und steckte eine Pistole in seine Rippen geben mir Ihr Geld, er forderte Indignant , Der wohlhabende Mann antwortete, das kannst du nicht tun, ich bin ein Kongressabgeordneter der Vereinigten Staaten In diesem Fall antwortete der Mugger, gib mir mein Geld. - Warum hat deine Schwester ihre Kuh gefüttert - weil sie reiche Milch bekommen wollte. Was nennt man fünf Hedge-Fondsmanager an der Oberseite des Ozeans - Ein guter Anfang. Einmal in einer Zeit in einem Dorf erschien ein Mann und verkündete den Dorfbewohnern, dass er Affen für jeweils 10 kaufen würde. Die Dorfbewohner sahen, dass es dort war Viele Affen herum, ging in den Wald und fing an, sie zu fangen. Der Mann kaufte Tausende bei 10 und a S Lieferungen begannen zu vermindern, die Dorfbewohner hielten ihre Bemühungen an Er weiter angekündigt, dass er jetzt bei 20 kaufen würde. Dies erneuerte die Bemühungen der Dorfbewohner und sie begannen, Affen wieder zu fangen. So ließ die Versorgung noch weiter abnehmen und die Leute begannen, wieder in ihre Bauernhöfe zu gehen Das Angebot erhöhte sich auf 25, und die Versorgung der Affen wurde so wenig, dass es eine Anstrengung war, sogar einen Affen zu sehen, geschweige denn fangen sie. Der Mann gab jetzt bekannt, dass er Affen bei 50 kaufen würde. Allerdings musste er in die Stadt gehen Auf ein Geschäft, würde sein Assistent jetzt im Namen von ihm kaufen. In der Abwesenheit des Mannes, sagte der Assistent den Dorfbewohnern Schauen Sie sich alle diese Affen in den großen Käfig, dass der Mann gesammelt hat, werde ich sie an Sie verkaufen bei 35 und wann Der Mann kehrt aus der Stadt zurück, man kann sie ihm für 50 Stück verkaufen. Die Dorfbewohner runden sich mit all ihren Ersparnissen auf und kauften alle Affen. Sie sahen niemals den Mann noch seinen Assistenten, nur Affen überall. Jetzt haben Sie ein besseres Verständnis Wie die s Tock market works.- Was hat der Mann getan, als er eine große Gasrechnung bekam - er explodierte. McDonalds fügte nur ein weiteres Element zu seinem 1 Wert Menü Citigroup stock. Money Gespräche Ärger ist, meins kennt nur ein Wort Goodbye. A Frau hört aus Ihr Arzt, dass sie nur ein halbes Jahr zu leben hat Der Arzt rät ihr, einen Ökonomen zu heiraten. Die Frau fragt, Will das meine Krankheit heilen Der Arzt antwortet: Nein Aber die sechs Monate werden wie ein Leben lang sein. - Warum machen Brieftaschen so viel Lärm - Weil Geld Gespräche - Dad, möchtest du etwas Geld sparen - ich würde sicherlich, Sohn irgendwelche Vorschläge - Sure Warum nicht mir ein Fahrrad kaufen, dann habe ich t t meine Schuhe so schnell verschütten. Derjenige, der Geld bezahlt hat Für ein Stück Aktienberatung, um seine Verluste auf dem Markt zu decken. Advisory Service - ein Berater, der eine beträchtliche Menge an Geld verloren und begann neue Geschäft. Am Nachmittag - eine tägliche Chance, geben Sie das Geld, das Sie an diesem Morgen sehen Freitag sehen. Apprentice - jeder, der auf deinem Bildschirm kurz nach deinem Schauspieler einen Profit schlägt Deal. Average Down - was hast du zu tun, wenn du eine lange Position eröffnet hast und musst ins Badezimmer gehen. Average Up - was hast du zu tun, wenn du eine kurze Position eröffnet hast und musst ins Badezimmer gehen. Bad Trade Stupid Trade Ein unrentabler Deal, den jemand anderes ausführt, der nicht zu deinem Trading-Strategie passt. Bottom - wenn du eine offene Long-Position hast, die Stelle, wo du aufgibst, durchschnittlich nach unten und zu verkaufen, wenn du eine offene Short-Position hast, die Stelle, wo das Buch dich empfiehlt Öffnen Sie eine kurze Position. Break eine Pause, die Sie nehmen, wenn Sie entweder 2 profitabel oder 5 unrentable Angebote in einem row. Broker - jemand, der hart studiert hat und hat eine Lizenz, um legal zu verlieren Ihr Geld für eine Minute zusätzliche Gebühr. Canadian derjenige, der ist short any stock you have. Chart - what you check after you exit trading, trying to understand what went wrong. Cheap Stock - a stock the price of which will decline as soon as you decide not to open a short position on it. Confusion - 6 open positions. Coyote Syndrome - when you feel an irresistible impulse to bite your own arm off so as not to click the mouse again. Day Trading - trading which you start too late and exit too early. Double Up a phrase you employ to explain your open position after you accidentally bought more instead of selling what you had. Down On The Day - a temporary situation until right after the next deal. Excellent Company - any stock you know nothing about on which you carry out a profitable deal. Excellent Long Term Investment - Position Trading that went the wrong way right after you opened a position. Expensive Stock - a stock the price of which will rise as soon as you decide not to open a long position. Expert a newbie who has not begun to trade yet see Licensed Expert. Fossil - a rather aged dude, making less than 90 deals per day. Freak the one who can carry out three profitable deals in a row. Friday a weekly opportunity to give back everything you gained that week see Afternoon. Fundamental Analysis - the process of checking if you can open a short position on a stock. Gap Up - a stock that has a higher opening price than a closing one was the day before, and will go down if you buy it, but will continue to go up if you sell it. Genius - what you are in the eyes of an Apprentice if Lady Luck favours you 3 times in a row. Halt stock an open position impending really good news or really bad news, but anyway, the scariest thing possible to happen. Highlight - selling into the rally while a dude on TV provides the complex reasons why the stock is special. Home Run - every single deal you thoroughly consider, tell other traders about and then do not make yourself. Huge Player - 1 A guy with over 15 thousand dollars left 2 Any trader that has been in such a situation for more than three months. Idiot - a fool that gives you his stock to cover your profitable short position. INCA - if a long position is open some creep that puts up a 50,000 share offer right when you open a long positon if a short position is open the same guy, opening a long position. IPO - expensive cyanide. IPO Internet - expensive cyanide flamb with sugar. Joker - a professional who takes a break to laugh to himself see Professional, Break. Level 2 - the circle in Hell where Satan explains an extremely complicated way how to lose a great amount of money for a very short period of time. Licensed Expert - a dude with a Series 7 license who has not started trading yet. Loudmouth - 1 Anyone that says anything near you, while you are losing a deal 2 A newbie who cannot pull the trigger at first, but finally does it, screaming Yahoo It s running. Lucky Deal - a profitable deal someone else made that does not fit your strategy much. Lunch Money - what you waste away between 11 a m and 1 p m ET. Manager - a day trader who found out a Never Lose Trading System. Margin - if you are up a safe situation with huge potential return if you are down an evil trick by Unseen Forces that can cause you losing more money than you have. Margin Call - what happens when y our clearing firm makes an accounting mistake. Market Maker - the one who set up a secret video camera behind you and who takes the other side of each of your unprofitable trades. Moron - a blockhead, buying your profitable long position. Moving Average - a curly line that has nothing to do with the price movement if you have an open position. Pain - exiting at loss, reversing your position on a stock and then watching it go the way you knew it would in the first place. Position Trading - day trading that went the wrong way right after you took a position. Pro - a guy at trading centre who says nothing and keeps smiling all the time see Joker. Scalping - losing only an eighth in one go. Secret Deal a deal that you do not tell about to the Apprentice when he asks you how you are doing. Short List a daily list of stocks that will rise and never pull back. Short List Request a request submitted to the clearing firm which contains a list of all stocks that you could open short positions on yesterday and tomorrow, but not today. Short Squeeze - when you have an open short position when a person that you have never met before and that should not have anything against you attempts to hurt you and your family on purpose when you have an open long position a proof that you are a true genius. Special Situation - when you watch your losing stop limit go by and open a position of larger volume instead of exiting trading see Long Term Investment. Spread if a deal is profitable sharing your wealth if a deal is unprofitable a malicious market maker who rips you off. System Trading - a phrase you employ to explain to the Apprentice how your trade did not work out the way you meant. Technical Analysis - traditional a voodoo, the animal blood and chanting excluded Point and Figure a really weird voodoo, the animal blood and chanting excluded. Top - when you have an open long position the point on the chart where the stock price backs off fast before you get out when you have an open short position t he exact spot where you cover. Trainer - the only man in the room who has never tried intraday trading in his life. Trend Line - an imaginary line on the price chart that only changes when the market is closed or when you are not looking. Up On The Day - what you are when the market closes, not taking into account ticket charges. Uptick - when you have an open long position added hope when you have an open short position a market maker, letting everyone else in if no positions are open a good chance to lose some money through opening a short position. Volume Spike - an open position confirmation that you are either the smartest person or the biggest idiot on Earth no positions are open confirmation that you are the smartest person on the planet, but you were not paying attention. A woman was just getting out of the shower when the doorbell rang She threw on her towel and went to the door Dave, a poker buddy of her husband s was there He looked at her in her towel for a minute and whispered I ll give you 500 right now if you take of your towel for just 10 seconds That s 50 a second She thought about it a second, and then took off her towel He smiled, gave her the money and walked away When she walked back into the bedroom, her husband asked Was that Dave Did he bring the 500 he owed me. A woman was cleaning her husbands dresser drawers when she found 3 golf balls and a box with 2000 in it She waited for him to come home from the golf course to ask him why these things were hidden in his dresser drawer. The husband said I m sorry I hid this from you but the truth is every time I cheated on you over the last 30 years I put a golf ball in the drawer. The wife was very upset at first but after thinking about it said I guess 3 times in 30 years is really not that bad Oh by the way what is the 2000 in the drawer. The husband replied Well every time I got to a dozen balls I sold them. My sister fell in love at second sight When she first met him she didn t know how rich he was. dialogu e between two friends - I hear that you drop some money in Wall Street Were you a bull or a bear - Neither, just a plain simple ass. A young banker decided to get his first tailor made suit So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit A week later he went in for his first fitting He put on the suit and he looked stunning, he felt that in this suit he can do business. As he was preening himself in front of the mirror he reached down to put his hands in the pockets and to his surprise he noticed that there were no pockets He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, Didn t you tell me you were a banker. The young man answered, Yes, I did. To this the tailor said, Who ever heard of a banker with his hands in his own pockets. Trading online is great I find it really speeds things up. I now get my margin calls 5x faster than before. Italian businessman on his deathbed called his good friend and said, Luigi, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated. And what, his friend asked, do you want me to do with your ashes. The businessman said, Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the IRS and write on the envelope, Now you have everything. A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost He reduced his altitude and saw a man below Excuse me, but can you help me I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don t know where I am, he said. The man below replied You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 ft above the ground You are between 40 and 41 degrees North latitude and between 56 and 57 degrees West longitude. To which the balloonist replied You must be a broker To which the man on the ground said I am, but how did you know. The reply came from above Everything you told me is technically correct but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I m still lost Frankly, you ve not been much help so far. The man below responded You must be a trader To which the balloonist replied Yes, I a m, but how did you know. To which the man on the ground said You don t know where you are or where you are going You have risen to your current position due to a large quantity of hot air You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem The fact is, you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it s my fault. Q In these busy market times, how can you get the attention of your broker A Say, Hey, waiter he s waitin always to get the price. A long term investment is a short term investment that failed. A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates Ahead of him is a guy who s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans Saint Peter addresses this guy, Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven The guy replies, I m Joe Cohen, stockbroker, of Noo Yawk City Saint Peter consults his list He smiles and says to the stockbroker, Take this silken rob e and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven The stockbroker goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it s the minister s turn He stands erect and booms out, I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary s for the last forty-three years Saint Peter consults his list He says to the minister, Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven Just a minute, says the minister That man was a stockbroker-- he gets a silken robe and golden staff but I, a minister, only get a cotton robe and wooden staff How can this be Up here, we work by results, says Saint Peter While you preached, people slept his clients, they prayed.- I see your previous boss says you were a real live wire salesman I m pleased to know that What were you selling - Live wires, sir. Five dollars for one question said the girl to the fortune-teller That s very expensive, isn t it Next. Are you a trader You know you re a trader if Your colleagues call you PIP Daddy You know you re a trader if Anyone got ideas. A young man from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a big everything under one roof department store looking for a job. The Manager says, Do you have any sales experience The kid says Yeah I was a salesman back in Minnesota. Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job You start tomorrow I ll come down after we close and see how you did. His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it After the store was locked up, the boss came down How many customers bought something from you today. The kid says One. The boss says Just One Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day How much was the sale for. The kid says 101, 237 65.The boss says 101,237 65 What the heck did you sell. The kid says, First, I sold him a small fish hook Then I sold hi m a medium fishhook Then I sold him a larger fishhook Then I sold him a new fishing rod Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft Then he said he didn t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition. The boss said, A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK. The kid said No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, Dude, your weekend s shot, you should go fishing. Frog Two women were walking through the woods when a frog FROG called out to them and said FROG Help me, ladies I am a stockbroker who, through an evil witch s curse, has been transformed into a frog If one of you kiss me, I ll be returned to my former state One woman took out her purse, grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her handbag The other woman OTHER WOMAN , aghast, screamed, OTHER WOMAN Didn t you hear him If you kiss him, he ll turn into a stockbroker The second woman SECOND WOMAN replied, SECOND WOMAN Sure, but these days a talking frog is worth more than a stockbroker. Meaning of potentially and realistically A young boy went up to his father and asked him, Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically The father thought for a moment, then answered, Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars Come back and tell me what you learn from that So the boy went to his mother and asked, Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars The mother replied, Of course, I would We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university The boy then went to his sister and asked, Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars The girl replied, Oh, good heavens I LOVE Brad Pitt and I would sleep with him in a heartbeat Are you nuts The boy then went to his brother and asked, Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars Of course, the brother replied Do you know how much a million bucks would buy The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad His father asked him, Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically The boy replied, Yes, Potentially , you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but realistically , we re living with two hookers and a future congressman. William May I have some money for the man crying outside Mum What crying man William The one that s crying, Ice cream Ice Cream. Helium was up Feathers were down Paper was stationary Knives were up sharply Pencils lost a few points Hiking equipment was trailing Elevators rose, while escalators continued a slow decline Light switches were off Mining equipment hit rock bo ttom Diapers remained unchanged Shipping lines stayed at an even keel Balloon prices were inflated And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market. Dear Dad, chool i really great I am making lot of friend and tudying very hard With all my tuff, I imply can t think of anything I need o if you would like, you can ju t end me a card, a I would love to hear from you Love, Your on. Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh Love, Dad. At the scene of a bank raid the police officer came running up to his inspector and said, He got away, sir The inspector was furious But I told you to put a man on all the exits he roared How could he have got away He left by one of the entrances, sir. When Albert Einstein died, he met three New Zealanders in the queue outside the Pearly Gates To pass the time, he asked what were their IQs The first replied 190 Wonderful, exclaimed Einstein We can discuss the contribution made by Ernest Rutherford to atomic physics and my theory of general relativity The second answered 150 Good, said Einstein I look forward to discussing the role of New Zealand s nuclear-free legislation in the quest for world peace The third New Zealander mumbled 50 Einstein paused, and then asked, So what is your forecast for the budget deficit next year.- My broker has a new service where they will text you your balance.- It s cool, I just don t think they should add LOL at the end. Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America If I m not there, I go to work - Robert Orben. The banker fell overboard from a friend s sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, Can you float alone. Obviously, the banker replied, but this is a heck of a time to talk business. Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory We are very sorry, but it s the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others he is told by the doorman Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss So the doorman leads him to the dorm They enter and Albert is introduced to all of the present inhabitants See, Here is your first room mate He has an IQ of 180 Why that s wonderful Says Albert We can discuss mathematics And here is your second room mate His IQ is 150 Why that s wonderful Says Albert We can discuss physics And here is your third room mate His IQ is 100 That Wonderful We can discuss the latest plays at the theater Just then another man moves out to capture Albert s hand and shake it I m your last room mate and I m sorry, but my IQ is only 80 Albert smiles back at him and says, So, where do you think interest rates are headed. Father to daughter upon her announcing her engagement What does he do Does he have any money Daughter You men are all alike That s the first thing he asked me about you. Customer Your watches seem so cheap Only twenty dollars How much does it cost to make them. Shopkeeper They cost me twenty dollars to make them. Customer But if it costs twenty dollars to make these watches, and you sell them for twenty dollars, where does your profit come in. Shopkeeper That comes from repairing them. A priest announced to his congregation I have good news and bad news The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program The bad news is, it s still out there in your pockets. Money can buy a House But not a Home Money can buy a Bed But not Sleep Money can buy a Clock But not Time Money can buy you a Book But not Knowledge Money can buy you Medicine But not Health Money can buy you Sex But not Love. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don t need it - Bob Hope. A young stockbroker decided to take a day off and visit some of his professors in his old school When he made his way into the entrance he noticed a dog was attacking a small child He quickly grabbed the dog and throttled it with his two hands. The next day the local newspaper reported the story with the headline, Valiant student saves boy from ferocious dog. The stockbroker called the editor and strongly suggested that a correction be issued and that the paper will tell the readers he was a successful Wall Street broker and not a student. The next day the newspaper issued a correction and the headline read, Pompous stockbroker kills school mascot. The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less - Brendon Francis. Money can t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy Spike Milligan.- How can you be sure you have counterfeit money - If its a three-dollar bill, you can be sure. Smart Investing If you had bought 1000 00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth 49 00.With E nron, you would have 16 50 of the original 1,000 00.With WorldCom, you would have less than 5 00 left. If you had bought 1,000 00 worth of Budweiser the beer, not the stock one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have 214 00.Little Johnny was being questioned by the teacher during an arithmetic lesson If you had ten dollars, said the teacher, and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left. Ten, said Little Johnny firmly. Ten the teacher said How do you make it ten. Well, replied Little Johnny You may ask for a loan of eight dollars, but that doesn t mean you ll get it. A man went to his bank manager and said, I d like to start a small business How do I go about it Simple, said the bank manager Buy a big one and wait. Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn t expect to be paid back. A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they d have to drastically alter their life-style. If you ll just learn to cook, he said, we can fire the chef. Okay, she said And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener. An FBI agent is interviewing a bank teller after the bank had been robbed 3 times by the same bandit Did you notice anything special about the man asks the agent Yes, replies the teller He was better dressed each time. A policeman came upon a super-salesman about to jump from a bridge and yelled, Wait, Fellow Please don t do that. The salesman said, Why not and proceeded to exp ound on his views on the shaky economy, declining family life and politics. Shortly thereafter, they both jumped. Sex is like my trading account I lose interest as soon as I withdraw. I went to the bank and went over my savings I found out I have all the money that I ll ever need if I die tomorrow - Henny Youngman. A retired man visited a doctor to seek medical advice for what he suspects as new and very unusual health problems Doc, I feel shortness of breath, dizziness, cold sweats, can t sleep Do you think I will collapse any time soon Doctor Yep You must be from Wall Street. Einstein dies and goes to heaven only to be informed that his room is not yet ready I hope you will not mind waiting in a dormitory We are very sorry, but it s the best we can do and you will have to share the room with others he is told by the doorman. Einstein says that this is no problem at all and that there is no need to make such a great fuss So the doorman leads him to the dorm They enter and Albert is introduc ed to all of the present inhabitants See, Here is your first room mate He has an IQ of 180 Why that s wonderful Says Albert We can discuss mathematics. And here is your second room mate His IQ is 150 Why that s wonderful Says Albert We can discuss physics. And here is your third room mate His IQ is 100 That Wonderful We can discuss the latest plays at the theater. Just then another man moves out to capture Albert s hand and shake it I m your last room mate and I m sorry, but my IQ is only 80 Albert smiles back at him and says, So, where do you think interest rates are headed. I saw a bank that said if offered 24 Hour Banking But I didn t go in I didn t have that much time. At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage. Look, she said We only met a half hour ago How can you be so sure We know nothing about each other. You re wrong, the young man declared For the past 5 years I ve been working in the bank where your father has his account. October This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February - Mark Twain. I just went partners with my bank They own half my car. New mattress A man MAN calls his fx dealer DEALER all anxious and out of breath with this urgency in his voice He says, MAN Close all my positions, everything fast, right away The fx dealer tries to talk to the man but the man says, MAN Let me tell you a secret You know I ve been married for 6 years now and I ve been your client for 5 years DEALER Yes, go on, the FX dealer says MAN Well My wife has this thing about the market Her grandparents lost it all in the GBP crash and ever since then her family found investing in the market akin to or iginal sin When we got married I promised her that I would follow in her parents footsteps and never venture in the FX market and always leave all our money under the mattress DEALER Wow, I didn t know that I guess you want the money because you are losing MAN No, I want the money because she ordered a new mattress and it is being delivered in two days. Bankers are people that help you with problems you would not have had without them. If you can count your money, you don t have a billion dollars c J Paul Getty. How much money do you need. What s considered enough money Just a little bit more Will Rogers. If you can count your money, you don t have a billion dollars J Paul Getty. A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you re talking about real money Everett Dirksen. The problem with statistics Three statisticians are out pig shooting They see a large boar in the distance, so they jump out of their truck and level their rifles The first one fires A cloud of dirt erupts one metre to t he left of the pig The second one fires A cloud of dirt erupts one metre to the right of the pig The third one shouts we got him so they jump back into the truck and drive off. It was graduation day and Mom was trying to take a picture of their son in a cap and gown, posed with his father Let s try to make this look natural she said Junior, put your arm around your dad s shoulder The father answered, If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket.- Who dropped a wad of notes with an elastic band round them - I did - Well, heres the elastic band. An economic forecaster was known to have an horseshoe prominently displayed above the doorframe of his office Asked what it was for, he replied it is a good luck charm that helps my forecasts But do you believe in that superstition he was asked. Of course not he said, but it works whether you believe in it or not. Logic of an economist. A party of economists was climbing in the Alps After several hours they became hopeles sly lost One of them studied the map for some time, turning it up and down, sighting on distant landmarks, consulting his compass, and finally the sun. Finally he said, OK see that big mountain over there. Yes , answered the others eagerly. Well, according to the map, we re standing on top of it. Dave has been a cheap tight-wad his whole life His family gathers around him as he lies on his death bed Dave peers up at them and asks, Is everybody here Where s Bessie I m here his wife says The kids We re here, Dad they reply Don t worry Dave, everybody s here Bessie reassures him Dave jumps up in bed and yells, Well, if everybody s here then why is the light on in the kitchen. A young girl and her father are looking at a nursery full of newborn babies All of them are crying Girl Are they hungry Dad No They just found out they ll have to pay for the stimulus bill. What s considered enough money Just a little bit more c Will Rogers.- If you found a five dollar bill in every pocket of your coat, what would you have - Someone else s coat. A woman proudly told her friend, I m responsible for making my husband a millionaire Well what was he before he married you the friend asked A billionaire. Schneider applied to a finance agency for a job, but he had no experience He was so intense that the manager gave him a tough account with the promise that if he collected it, he d get the job. Two hours later, Schneider came back with the entire amount Amazing the manager said How did you do it. Easy, Schneider replied I told him if he didn t pay up, I d tell all his other creditors he paid us. An Asian man walked into the currency exchange line in a New York bank with 2000 yen, and he walked out with 72 The following week, he walked in with 2000 yen, and was handed 66 He asked the teller why he got less money than he had gotten the previous week The lady said, Fluctuations The Asian man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, he turned around and said, Fluc you Amelicans, too. A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China He s out there now trying to win a trip back. The economy is the only field in which two people can get the Nobel Prize for saying exactly the opposite thing. A preacher went into his chu rch and he was praying to God While he was praying, he asked God, How long is 10 million years to you God replied, 1 second The next day the preacher asked God, God, how much is 10 million dollars to you And God replied, A penny Then finally the next day the preacher asked God, God, can I have one of your pennies And God replied, Just wait a sec. A new manager spends a week at his new Broker office with the manager he is replacing On the last day the departing manager tells him, I have left three numbered envelopes in the desk drawer Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can t solve Three months down the track there is a major drama, everything goes wrong - the usual stuff - and the manager feels very threatened by it all He remembers the parting words of his predecessor and opens the first envelope The message inside says Blame your predecessor He does this and gets off the hook. About half a year later, the company is experiencing a dip in sales, combined with serious market p roblems The manager quickly opens the second envelope The message read, Reorganize This he does, and the company quickly rebounds. Three months later, at his next crisis, he opens the third envelope The message inside says Prepare three envelopes. I was so poor growing up if I wasn t a boy I d have nothing to play with Rodney Dangerfield. A man was sent to Hell for his sins As he was being processed, he passed a room where an economist he knew was having an intimate conversation with a beautiful woman What a crummy deal the man complained I have to burn for all eternity and that economist spends it with that gorgeous woman An escorting demon jabs the man with his pitchfork and shouts, Who are you to question that woman s punishment. One day a young man came up to my window at the bank and whispered, Please deposit this hundred dollars in my savings account I handled the transaction and whispered back, Have a good day He started to leave but changed his mind I m sorry we have to whisper, he said, but if my car knows I ve deposited money, it ll break down again With his finger to his lips he tiptoed out. Don t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed George Burns. Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn t have it and thought of other things if you did James Baldwin. Stockbroker What is a million years like to you God Like one second Stockbroker What is a million dollars like to you God Like one penny Stockbroker Can I have a penny God Just a second. My mother decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, Just think, Fred, we are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand Good , my dad quickly replied Wash it again. Jesus saves But wouldn t it have been better if he had invested. A Japanese guy J is at Los Angeles International Airport, waiting for his flight back home to Japan While he s waiting, h e goes to the currency exchange counter to change his remaining dollars. He counts his money at the counter and says to the clerk C J Wait a minute When I came here I got more dollars for my yen What s going on here C Fluctuations. The Japanese man stiffens J Well Fluck you Americans, too. A guy in a Kia pulls up next to a Rolls-Royce at a red light and asks, Hey, is your car Bluetooth enabled The Rolls owner nods So is mine Got Wi-Fi The Rolls owner nods again Me too What about a double bed No Do you asks the Rolls guy Yep The Kia owner peers out You got me out of the shower to tell me that. Buddies John meets his buddy George and asks him John Do me a favour, could you lend me 100 George checks in his wallet and his pockets, then replies George Sorry, pal I got only 50 John Only 50 Never mind Give me the 50 you have, and you owe me another 50.The real measure of your wealth is how much you d be worth if you lost all your money.- Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire - Sure, here you are - Thanks, but half the pages are missing What s the matter - Isn t half a million enough for you. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows You sell one and buy a bull Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AMERICAN CAPITALISM or Enro-capitalism You have two cows You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more Sell one cow to buy influence with a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows No balance sheet provided with the release The public buys your bull. AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows You sell one, accept an LAW tax promised credit payable in 4 year s time, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows You are surprised whe n the cow drops dead. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows You go on strike because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce 20 times the milk You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide. A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows Both are mad. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don t know where they are You break for lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows You count them and learn you have five cows You count them again and learn you have 42 cows You count them again and learn you have 12 cows You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you You charge others for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows You have 300 people milking them You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows That one on the left is kinda cute. Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right The third econometrician didn t fire, but shouted in triumph, We got it We got it. A long term investment is a short term investment that failed. If you can count your money, you don t have a billion dollars. Races Soros and a Bernanke went to the races Soros suggested to bet 10,000 on a horse Bernanke was sceptical, saying that he wanted first to understand the rules, to look on horses, etc Soros whispered that he knew a secret algorithm for the success, but he could not convince Bernanke Soros You are too theoretical, he said and bet on a horse Surely, that horse came first bringing him a l ot of money Triumphantly, he exclaimed I told you, I knew the secret Bernanke What is your secret Soros It is rather easy I have two kids, three and five year old I sum up their ages and I bet on number nine Bernanke But, three and five is eight, Soros I told you, you are too theoretical Soros replied, Haven t I just shown experimentally that my calculation is correct. A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES. The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop It read MAIN ENTRANCE. After a laborious two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the jury finally ended its 14 hours of deliberations and entered the courtroom to deliver its verdict to the judge The judge turns to the jury foreman an d asks, Has the jury reached a verdict in this case. Yes we have, your honor, the foreman responded. Would you please pass it to me. The judge declared, as he motioned for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip from the foreman and deliver it to him. After the judge reads the verdict himself, he delivers the verdict slip back to his bailiff to be returned to the foreman and instructs the foreman, Please read your verdict to the court. We find the defendant NOT GUILTY of all four counts of bank robbery, stated the foreman. The family and friends of the defendant jump for joy at the sound of the not guilty verdict and hug each other as they shout expressions of divine gratitude The defendant s attorney turns to his client and asks. So, what do you think about that. The defendant looks around the courtroom slowly with a bewildered look on his face and then turns to his defense attorney and says. I m real confused here Does this mean that I have to give all the money back. The market is weird Ever y time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they re smart. An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they d do if they had a million pounds John handed in a blank sheet of paper John yelled the teacher, you ve done nothing why Because if i had a million pounds, that s exactly what i would do said John. If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers. If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I m prepared to forget it if they are - Errol Flynn. A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, Hey, where ve you been I haven t seen you around here much. The twenty answered, I ve been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for a while, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff How about you. The one dollar bill said, You know, same old stuff church, church, church. Q With the current market turmoil, what s the easiest way to make a small fortu ne A Start off with a large one. I ll send you some money. A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it Mom said Sure, sweetie I ll send you some money You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago Do you want me to send that up too Uh, oh yeah, OK, responded the kid So Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book When she gets back, Dad asked Well, how much did you give the boy this time Mom said Oh, I wrote 2 checks, one for 20, and the other for 1000 That s 1020 yelled Dad, Are you crazy Don t worry hon, Mom said, as she kissed Dad on the on top of his bald head, I taped the 20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the 1000 one somewhere between the pages in Chapter 19.A couple of thieves broke into my holiday apartment and stole 10,000 Euros At least they didn t take anything of any value. From a trader This is worse than a divorce I ve lost half my net worth and I still have a wife. The cost of living is so high now My wife is having to have sex with me because she can t afford the batteries. There are two things you are better off not watching in the making sausages and econometric estimates Edward Leamer. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn t happen today. A market guru walks into a pizzeria to order a pizza When the pizza is done, he goes up to the counter to get it There a clerk asks him Should I cut it into six pieces or eight pieces The guru replies I m feeling rather hungry right now You d better cut it into eight pieces. Q Which one of our natural resources will become exhausted first A The Taxpayer. Trading online is just great I find it really speeds things up I now get my margin calls 5x faster than before. A woman returns to her car after shopping and is furious to find the side of her car is smashed in On the windshield is a note Reliev ed she picks it up and reads what it says As I m writing this a bunch of people are watching me They think I m writing down my name, number and insurance information But I m not. Why has astrology been invented So that economy could be an accurate science. Interviewer What is recession Candidate When Wine and Women get replaced by Water and Wife that critical phase of life is called Recession. Case in the firm The owner OWNER of a large brokerage firm made a surprise visit at the sales department s floor After a quick tour he reckoned that someone was standing near the secretary, doing nothing He turned angry and red, approached the guy GUY and asked him OWNER What s your salary, young man GUY Around 800 a week, replied the guy The owner pulled out 800 from his pocket, gave it to the guy and shouted OWNER Here s your salary Take it, leave now, and never come back After regaining calmness, the owner turned to the floor manager and asked him OWNER How comes you hire such a lousy person for the sales department The floor manager FM answered FM Well, he doesn t work here He is just the pizza delivery boy. BULL MARKET - a random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius BEAR MARKET - a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. A guy wearing a singlet and slippers walked into the bank and practically shouted at the teller, Yo woman Who do I speak to to open a bloody bank account in this bloody bank. The teller politely told him to lower his voice as he was disturbing the other customers and that she would be able to open his bank account for him. The guy was practically foaming at the mouth Don t you tell me what to do And no woman is opening my bloody account You women are just good for cooking, cleaning and making babies I wanna speak to a man. The teller got up in a huff, went to the bank manager s office and explained the situation to him The bank manager told her that while the customer was always right, this customer was definitely wrong He went back with the teller to set the guy straight. About time a man showed up The guy was as loud, if not louder than before I just won 25 million dollars in the lottery and this bloody woman insisted that she s capable of opening my bloody account for me. She did, did she The bank manager was almost as loud as the guy She was just supposed to clean the windows and arrange the files Don t mind her Let s go to my bloody office and see what we can do about your bloody account. A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank, pointed two fingers at the clerk and said, This is a muck up Don t you mean a stick up asked the girl No, said the robber, it s a muckup I ve forgotten my gun. Economist One day an economist died and was accidentally sent to hell As we all know, all dogs and economists go to heaven, but in this instance old saint Peter was off his game and our economist joined all the rapists, murderers and forex traders in the underworld After a few weeks in hell the economist realises that it s not such a bad place after all, it s just chronically mismanaged So he implements a plan Within a few months the economy in hell is booming He has the budget in surplus which enables the devil to spend on infrastructure, and investment funds start to flow in, increasing capital expenditures throughout the entire hellish economy After a year or two God looks down and notices that the standard of living in hell has increased to the point that most of his angels are booking their summer vacations there The beaches are lovely, and face it, heaven is the last place you re gonna find someone who can mix a decent cocktail He phones the devil to ask what s going on Satan explains that they have employed the services of an economist to fix their economy God is not happy You know that all economists go to heaven he yelled, send him back immediately or we re going to sue you The devil just laughed and replied, As if Where are you gonna get your hands on a lawyer. Q What s the difference between Investment Bankers and London Pigeons A The Pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMW s. Ted said to his friend, can you lend me 10 But I only have 8 , his friend replied Thats OK, you can always owe me the other 2.Frequently Asked Questions. Have a question for us Your answer might be found in our FAQs. What is all about We re all about helping forex traders help themselves We have the School of Pipsology a global community of forex traders on our forums handy forex tools like the Economic Calendar and our forexpedia and finally, trading blogs that are constantly updated with market analysis All that for free Can I start a blog on The Blogs section is not open for changes by the public We have our own team of kickass writers dedicated to updating the Blogs section If a spot opens up, we ll definitely let you know You never know, Huck may one day find the man of her dreams and decide to focus on that Or may be Robopip will need to go back to which planet is he from again Do you offer in other languages Nope No Nein Not yet anyways But we are currently working on translating the School of Pipsology in additional languages, including Spanish, Portuguese and maybe Chinese Several languages to follow, so no need to worry Other areas will be translated soon after that This does take a lot of time and work, so please be patient and stay tuned Do you offer mobile email updates for new blog posts No direct mobile updates i e text messages , but you can always subscribe via Twitter, RSS feeds and email subscriptions It s easy to set up for the notifications to be pushed to your mobile I want to learn forex How If you re eager to start learning about forex trading, we suggest that you make your way over to the School of Pipsology our very own guide for teaching beginners how to trade the foreign currency exchange market We start you off in Preschool teaching you the basics of Forex, and from there you ll learn more complex subjects all the way to Graduation This is all self-study, done at your own compliment the learning at the School of Pipsology, we also provide regularly updated blogs a community forum where you can exchange questions and answers with other registered members, our Forexpedia of forex terms and definitions, and several tools like calculators and a calendar How do I register with What do I get Sign-up and that s it What do you get You get the whole awesomeness of the team and community It s totally FREE and there s nothing to buy but tons to gain. 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If security is a concern and you want to delete cookies, every browser provides a way to save specific cookies while getting rid of the rest The procedure to do this is browser-specific, but a quick Internet search should get you fixed If that doesn t work holler at us via I just finished the School of Pipsology Now what You might want to start with the Cowabunga System It was developed by our very own Pip Surfer as an example of how to create your own system he s even dedicated a weekly blog for it The blog has been available for some time now but if for some very strange reason, you haven t heard of it yet, may want to read the FAQ on have a look at our Forums, which has also covered the Cowabunga System since 2007.We hope this helps in the formulation of your very own system Good luck. Account-Related Questions. 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Can I advertise with you Yes you can IF you re a direct broker, banner-only advertising kinda guy But we re open to other broker relationships and offers as well Can I link to your website You can definitely link to our website We d be honored Can I translate the School of Pipsology for you We understand that English isn t the primary language of most of th e world, and that a translation of our content to a new language would open up education to more people But we do not allow the copying and or redistributing of our content This would be similar to licensing our content, which we do not to our content, however, is definitely allowed We re hoping to roll out new languages of the School of Pipsology in the coming year Can I advertise my non-forex product with you Advertisements are only open to forex brokers at the moment Can I copy your stuff Unfortunately, we do not allow the copying and or redistributing of our content This would be similar to licensing our content, which we do not offer You can always link though Can I get added to your broker listing Send us an email at regarding this and we ll get back to you Can you review my product service on We don t write product service reviews from a promotions perspective on our you might be interested in our sister-website, There, you can submit your company and product info for review by our community of forex traders That of course would require someone to have actually used your software, so it s not a total solution But it s an avenue to get your product name out there And it s completely free Would you like to exchange links We have to respectfully say, no thank you We don t participate in link exchanges Do you represent a broker No, we do not We are purely an online educational resourcemon Forex Trading Questions. Can I trust the companies that you advertise on your website That is a very important question that we cannot answer with a simple yes or no We have many advertisers companies that we have worked with for several years These advertisers are displayed on our web site using advertisements and company logos, like you will see in the sponsor sections of our School and Blog sponsors that you see on our website have been working with us almost since the beginning of in early 2006 These sponsors have exhibited honesty and integrity in doing business with our com pany That being said, to be as unbiased as possible to our community of members and guests, we do not specifically endorse any broker or advertiser, nor their products or services. That is where the power of the community, and specifically our Broker Guide and Forums, come into the picture The Forums will provide you firsthand knowledge from traders who have direct experience with the various advertisers and their products or services The Broker Guide offers you information submitted to us directly by the brokers regarding their offerings Combine these two areas of knowledge and we re sure you ll be able to make the best decision for YOU If you need more than just someone else s word to feel safe, make your way over to the US Commodity Futures Trading Commission website or the National Futures Association website They are the regulatory bodies of the forex and futures industries in the US They can shed further light on some of the brokers that interest you. But you must also keep a close eye on which advertisements you are looking at We work with Google Advertising to provide advertisements, which they randomly place in designated areas of our site By design of their system, the advertisements do relate to Forex, but we do not have complete control over what advertisements Google places on our site How long does it take to become a successful trader Trading is a performance skill like sports, the arts, medicine, etc The education and knowledge is out there, but do you have the discipline to learn and develop a method that works for you Do you have what it takes to step up to the plate, take risks, and do the work necessary to review and improve your trading Also, can you control your emotions when, not IF, you lose money Once you have a game plan that works for you, will you still be able to stick to it day in and day out There is no answer to your question that has a general application The time it takes is really up to the time and effort you put in to learning and practice, and your situation in life. But if you re still looking for a more definitive answer, here are a couple of quotes to give you a better idea on the time it takes to be a successful trader Mike Bellafiore co-founder of prop trading firm SMB Capital says, It is common for experienced traders to acknowledge that they did not know what they were doing until after three to five years. And from his book Enhancing Trader Performance, Brett Steenbarger acknowledges that it takes about 10 years of deliberate practice to master the art of trading, as well as any other skill How do I calculate pivot points You can calculate pivot points using any time frame All you need is the opening price, close price, high price, and low instance, during the time frame you are watching whether it be 1 day, 1 week, or 1 month , just take the opening price, the high price the low, and the closing price, and stick those numbers into our handy-dandy pivot point calculator found here It will calculate the pi vot points for the next 12 hours that you are watching Ok If you wish to learn more about pivot points and how to calculate them, please visit our pivot point lesson found here How much should I risk per trade If you are a beginner, your account risk should be as small as possible The reason we say this is because you do not have enough statistics on your system or trading method to optimize your account risk per trade You don t know how often you lose, how big your drawdowns are, your longest losing streaks, you have gathered enough information about your trading we suggest a year s worth of trading , then you can begin to adjust your account risk per trade to your risk comfort level. In general, we do not suggest that anyone risks losing more than 1 of your account per trade Again this is all based on your risk comfort level Read up on our risk management school lesson for more information How long should you spend on trading per day We re not sure how other traders trade, so we can t speak in general terms For our style, discretionary trading, we generally put in an hour or two of research and planning before we start trading for the day After we re done for the day, we will put another hour or two recording the days events and price action, then review and figure out ways to improve our decision processes and risk course, if you trade the longer time frames, this process won t be as time intensive Again, this is how we do it and we always suggest finding your own methods and ways to trade Do you offer trading demo accounts We are not brokers and do not offer any kind of brokerage or demo trading accounts If you re interested in opening a demo account, make your way over to our Broker Guide for more information We ll help you choose the broker that s right for you Aside from that, the Forums also has a Forex Brokers section that may be of interest to you New and seasoned traders discuss anything and everything fees, reviews, recommendations, bonuses related to For ex Brokers Do you offer live, face-to-face training classes is purely an online educational resource We don t offer any face-to-face classes or seminars We re thinking our beauty might be an issue Take our word for it It s hard to concentrate when staring into our faces How much money is needed to open a trading account Since you asked that question, head on over to the School of Pipsology We think you re a perfect candidate It s completely free, it s web-based, and a lot of fun Plus you re bound to learn a thing or two As for your question, if you re brand new to forex, we would suggest starting with zero that s right, nothing You need to at least learn the basics before you even think about throwing money at a trading account However, mini accounts can be set up for as little as 500 Again, head over to the School of Pipsology You won t regret it Which broker do you recommend We try to stay as unbiased as possible by not recommending specific brokers This is best for the every trader is different in their approach and trading styles, so one broker could work for one but not another Head on over to our Broker Guide and our broker review section for more info Will you trade my money for me Are there companies that will trade for me Yes, there are many companies available that will trade your money for on the other hand, take the position of trying to educate traders so they can do the trading themselves With that fact, we do not recommend any one specific company You can always do an on-site search using the search box at the top of our web page for managed account to help you out in possibly finding reviews about such services What s the best way to keep track of my trading history Make your way over to Forums Trade Journals sub forum Take the first step to building your discipline Record and share your progress trade ideas, trade results, psychology state before and after and more Read more about why you need a trade journal in our School of Pipsology here. Top 10 M ost Expensive Medical Procedures. We all know healthcare is expensive in the Unites States Most of us have paid a medical bill, wondering why the cost of that seemingly small procedure is so high But what are the most expensive surgeries Here s a list of the top ten most expensive medical procedures according to a 2008 Millman report and along with the reasons why they cost so much. A transplant of the intestine is done to replace dead intestinal tissue with live tissue from a donor, often because of disease or the presence of a tumor Because intestinal disease is sometimes accompanied by liver failure, intestine transplants can be done in conjunction with a liver transplant, adding more than 180,000 to the bill. Heart transplants are among the most complicated of procedures, carrying great risk Waiting lists are long, and preparation for the surgery is lengthy and expensive Add to this the expensive procurement of the organ, and you can see why the cost is so great.3 Bone Marrow Transpla nt Cost 676,800 Allogeneic 300,400 for Autologous. Bone marrow transplants can be done with a donor s marrow allogeneic or your own bone marrow autologous , costing much less Finding a donor for a bone marrow transplant is difficult, and complications after the procedure are very common Add to this the risky nature of the procedure, the lengthy prep time in the hospital as well as an extensive recovery period, and you have a cocktail for a hefty medical bill. When other therapies don t work, lung transplants are a last resort for patients of lung disease like emphysema and cystic fibrosis As with other transplant surgeries, wait lists are long and cost is high because of the lengthy hospital stay. As with a heart transplant, liver transplants are high risk and high cost, with an accompanying waiting list Criteria are high, which means administrative and prep procedure costs add to the bottom line. With heart disease as the leading cause of death in the U S at 26 , open heart surgery is a m ore common procedure than may be expected Part of the high cost of open heart surgery is because it s often an urgent medical procedure that is usually followed by complications Longer care and follow-up needed after surgery add to the price tag. Transplants of the pancreas are usually needed when a patient has type 1 diabetes or renal failure It is often done in tandem with a kidney transplant, almost doubling the cost of the surgeries at 439,000.Kidney transplants, like the other transplants on this list, are expensive due to the risk, recovery and prep expense The one difference is that with kidney transplants, the old kidney isn t removed because it s been shown it reduces risk that way surgeons find a different blood supply to attach the new kidney to. A tracheotomy involves making an incision in the neck to allow the patient to breathe, either permanently or temporarily Since this is often an emergency room procedure, costs are high After care is extensive, adding to the bill. When lesions on a retina this is part of the eye , also called retinoblastoma, are removed, the risks are great as with the above-mentioned procedures This procedure is pricey because of the precision skills required for this procedure, the lengthy recovery and follow-up. Bottom Line If you think these costs are high, consider that patients with a chronic disease affecting more than one organ often need multiple organ transplants, with bills exceeding a million dollars Why the whopping price tags for all these surgeries In cases of transplants, the hospital stay before and after the surgery makes up about 75 percent of the bill Some of the cost comes from liability insurance those high premiums hospitals and doctors have to pay to cover themselves in case of lawsuits A side-effect of the large amount of liability lawsuits is that doctors often order more expensive tests than needed to cover themselves, a practice called defensive medicine. Lack of insurance among more than 47 million American s drives costs up, since the uninsured use emergency rooms, and often when they ve waited so long that pricey emergency surgery is the only option Add this to the high cost of medication and medical equipment, and you can see how these price tags balloon The bottom line health insurance coverage is vital if you need one of these life-threatening and extremely expensive procedures Learn what your options are in Fighting The High Costs Of Healthcare and Buying Private Health Insurance. Still feeling uninformed Check out last week s Water Cooler Finance to see what s been happening in financial news.
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